Clarinet paper? / by Simmon Li

So, I missed some stupid written exam on the clarinet for my class and instead, I get to write a paper.

Please write (approximately) a one thousand word paper (double spaced) on any topic involving the clarinet.

Huh? Pardon me? I can barely play all the damn normal notes. I was tempted to copy and paste "I like the soft tone of the clarinet." about 100x to get a thousand words. Seriously, this is totally nothing similar.